Category Archives: therapy

Three Thoughts On Choosing A Therapist

Last week, a dear friend of mine in another city inquired about what sorts of things to ask for and learn about when trying to find a therapist. She sent me the following message: “‘I got three counseling referrals from my pastor/friend, but I don’t really know what questions to ask to know which one is the right fit. Explain exactly what I want to learn more about with anxiety support?”

It was such a great, simple and yet actually complex question; one that many first time therapy seeking folks must navigate. I was eager to assist because not only do I love my friend, but I also love the therapy process and think the right fit and right relationship are essential. And though this is not an exhaustive list, it is a few thoughts on what you may want to ask a therapist before working together.

  • How do you view change? Most folks are headed into therapy because something isn’t working. If you are able to identify what it is in you that you would like to change — be it how you feel, relationship patterns, anxious thoughts, etc — that’s a huge first step. Getting curious about how the therapist views change is then the next. Personally, I view change as a longer, relational process. I have learned to be upfront with clients that while I can offer some quick skills and possibly even help with this or that, I believe true change only comes in long-term (think a year+) work where the therapeutic relationship has space to work on the roots issues.
  • What’s your approach? Not only is this a question regarding what theory or practices a counselor uses, but also one in which to get curious about them as a person. Some therapists allow clients to talk while giving minimal feedback and others are more directive and take the lead. Ask if he or she is more directive if you want that sort of engagement. Additionally, consider asking the counselor what he or she thinks a good therapeutic relationship looks like and see if you agree. If you don’t know what you want, perhaps think of the friends and folks you turn to when you are struggling and think about how they respond to you.
  • Ask yourself: How do I feel in and after this conversation? As you talk to a potential counselor, notice how you feel. Feeling a bit anxious is absolutely normal, but does it seem like the therapist “gets you?” Do you feel like you could tell them things and they would listen well? Do they make you laugh, do you feel safe, are their words comforting? Do you feel respected? In some ways, trust your gut. Feeling nervous, uncertain, and a bit uncomfortable is common. But if in the midst of that you think and feel like the person on the other end can help with those, give it a try. Most therapists want a good fit and are happy to help you find that if things don’t work with them.

Be aware of counselors who make big promises and speak into your situation without much information. Learn what your referring friend liked and disliked about their work with the counselor in consideration. There are techniques, experience, and style that all play a role in great therapy, but without relationship, I believe little is to be gained. At the end of the day, I hold fast to the following: They won’t care what you show them until you show them that you care.

Written by Lindsay Williams, MA, LPC.

 

 

Why Therapists Love the Word “Journey”

It was recently brought to my attention that “journey” is a therapy word; that those outside the walls of the office can often miss the meaning that we as practitioners are trying to bring to light.

Fair.

It is rare that anyone would eagerly long to embark upon a “journey” of unknown length, time, and degree of difficulty. And all that with a virtual stranger leading and inquiring about the most intimate parts of your life. Therapy-wise, perhaps you are willing to do a few sessions to teach you how to better interact with your boss or touch upon the loss of your parent, but a “journey….”

And yet, that is exactly what I do.

I admit, I do love the word “journey.” Simply look at the tag line of this website. Journey holds so much truth to the work I offer my clients. Similar to a journey, we prepare by using what we know. We continue together by reflecting on the past and look into the unknown future. Together we trek untravelled paths; you gain healing as you interact with your possibly painful history and gather insight on ways to navigate your future. On our journey, you learn new skills and together we practice them. With one another, we weather the uncontrollable storms of life and you come out stronger and more confident in yourself.

While sprints with pre-determined finish lines are great, I view therapy as longer than a sprint. Journey’s take time and relay the idea of growth and change, adventure and excitement, and they intentionally account for more than the finish line. Therapeutically, we address not only the surface behavioral changes, but I invite you into relationship that allows for deeper, more sustainable change. I am honored to journey alongside you and allow time for struggle, change, and lasting celebration.

Best of all, this journey is completely yours and no one can take it from you. You are empowered and encouraged try new paths, new ideas, new behaviors, and new thoughts. You experience changes and take those changes into your world, knowing the work it took for you to get there while finding rest in the comfort of having someone in your corner and someone who is for you, someone safe and someone willing to stand with you. And like the tagline says, there is meaning you will find that is unknown to you in the moment.

If this excites, intrigues, invites, or even scares you a little, I invite a conversation and ask you…when shall we embark?

Written by Lindsay Williams, MA, LPC.

If you’re interested in a journey, contact Lindsay today.